OH BABY, BABY…CHONG-CHING-CHONG-CHING-CHONG

Oftentimes Disturbing
(september 20, 2003)

I would have just easily let go of this subject matter. After all, it is of pure opinion, and I know many people hate my opinion, but majority of them just don’t care actually. But I could not easily let go of this subject matter…not after the tragic accident that happened days ago.

You know what I mean. The crowd of people who made victims of themselves when they attended the F4 concert. By victims, I meant not only the mega expensive cost of their concert tickets which, I heard, range from 500 pesos, up to 10,000 pesos, but those who spent around 24,000 pesos on hospital bills because they were transformed into vegetable condition overnight, with the stampedes and the wild hordes of millions which jampacked themselves, turning the event into virtual, literal sardinas situation. Yes, there were issues of mismanagement and poor planning on the part of the organizers (sad observation that I’ve witnessed to be true of concert events here in Iloilo). The suing of the organizers is one issue. The insanity of the chinovela fever is another. As a non-fan who actually has no right to criticize the people who are stuck with this hype, I am greatly disturbed.

I could not imagine, in my most bizarre imagination, that there will come a time when dorky Chinese soap operas would create such madness in the Filipino community. Years ago, when I was watching an Egyptian channel on cable TV, I saw this sport which was actually like horseracing. But instead of horses, the jockeys were riding camels. I was stuck on that channel for around half an hour, giggling and staring with shimmering toddler eyes, for it was an awesome wonderment to witness such a far-out sport. I was kinda hoping it was going to be the next big thing that could come out of foreign television. Instead, we have these wimpy, silly-ass, boyband-inspired garbage: Meteor Garden, Poor Prince, My MVP Valentine…. GEEEZ!!! MY MVP VALENTINE?!!! What kind of title is THAT? What’s next? MY 143 LABOR DAY?

I thought the Mexican/Spanish telenovelas were the worst of the hypes that came out of television industry. At least Marimar had nice large …um… larger than life acting skills to keep us interested (you should hear the tone of my voice when I say “interested”). And at least, Betty La Fea is hilarious (Q: Do you watch Betty La Fea? A: I invoke my right to privacy!). I never imagined that some oriental boyband who try hard to dress in J-Pop (J-pop) fashion would have their own misadventures on television. And even give themselves a name like Fantasy Forever. SUS! Daw brand ka deodorant! To top it off, the name of their TV show is Meteor Garden. No wonder NASA reported that an asteroid (or meteor, for that matter) is about to collide with the Earth sometime 2014. Perhaps when the Lords of the Galaxy knew about the hype of the chinovelas, they decided to end the existence of mankind. Man has existed in intolerable silliness for too long, it is time to replace them with post-inferno mutant-zombies!

But that’s what “HYPE” is all about anyway. It may be the most stupidest thing you’ve ever seen, smelled, or tasted, but it may have the potential to become adored by the public to the point that its presence is felt everywhere, that you can just barf out the nausea. Hype is what made F4 be seen in softdrink billboards, in millions of posters, in little stationeries, in bags, shirts, jackets, underwears, candies, or whatever merchandise it could land into. If they have such a thing, I would gladly buy an F4 tissue paper so that I could see Dau Ming Su’s face wiping the brownish green stain on my dinosaur ass (my apologies to those eating).

I feel sorry for the victims of the tragic madness of the F4 concert days ago. All the madness and fever. All only went straight to the trash, and gave them serious injuries. In serious honesty, I don’t blame them. Amo na ya trip nila. God knows that if it was Nirvana Unplugged, Alice In Chains Unplugged, or Bjork having a concert, I would be that dumbass zombie who would spend stupid amounts just to see it. Hype is sometimes such a bad thing. But at least, I’m not patronizing some wussy oriental boyband that sings lousy remakes. HAHAHAHA! (I wish that Egyptian camel race would be the next uso! tripxyde@yahoo.com)