EFOT NI JOEY & KRIS

Panfilo Lacson must be very upset at Joey Marquez and Kris Aquino for stealing his thunder. Just when the nation’s attention is upon Jose Pidal, the Mike Arroyo “Incredible Hulk” issue, all of a sudden the presses stop to make way for a non-sensical, all-too-trivial issue of the Kris Aquino-versus-Joey Marquez squabble. All of a sudden, issues of physical injuries, grave threats, and sexually-transmitted diseases have been the headlines. While it should not really have anything to do with us (as my friend Eugene would put it; they (Kris & Joey) could dance the hully-gully for all I care!), we could not deny that the masses have turned their attentions upon these two hype meisters. No matter how dumb and irrelevant this topic is, the masses love to focus their attention unto it, even if it means we have to put the issue of our government’s stability aside (in the back seat, for that matter).

It is a hopeless case of two people who should behave their public personalities in the first place. On the right corner is Joey, a public official, a mayor, who, without question, would fail the so-called morality check that is gradually being established by the government. And on the left corner, is Kris, who is the popular showbiz daughter of a national hero. In one way or another, she has been stained by scandals and controversies about the men in her life, including the playboy she is now suing. A daughter of the Edsa hero, and a fine upstanding woman who has become an icon herself for becoming the country’s first woman president. With all things considered, she should have lived a disciplined life, and not act like a bratty stray poodle that chases after rabid mutts. Shameful, shameful. Tsk tsk. Some people may give Joey Marquez a sympathetic credit with the excuse that he’s a “man” and is forgiven for his boyish “naughtiness”. But no, society should not tolerate a Jerk like him. He should not have been given a title of mayor in the first place. A person who inflicts even the slightest of harm upon a woman, is not a man at all. He is a childish pig, a Bondying, who has no grasp of his manhood. If these allegations by Kris are true, Joey Marquez is a Bondying.

If there is one thing in common between the Joey-Kris garbage and Lacson’s Incredible Hulk Hype, is that the players concerned all reek of stink. They’re both little duels between two parties who are better off killing themselves. Do you trust Kris? Do you trust Joey? I think they’re both spoiled-brat monkeys who itch for attention and satisfaction. Do you trust Ping? Do you trust Mike? I think they’re both power-hungry, corrupt pigs. It would honestly give me total satisfaction to see them all go to hell. But hey, I am entitled to my own pissed-off opinion. If you think Mike is such a good guy, fine. If you think Ping is such a good guy, fine! If you think Joey didn’t hurt or abuse Kris, fine, I bet that in no time, you’ll see your showbiz idol do his regular perverse hilarity on TV, making semi-rated R chauvinistic jokes. If you love Kris so much, go on and rally with the rest of the other beauticians and the moviestar magazine collectors who, all of a sudden, act like some women’s rights activists. I’ve sometimes had daydreams of a better Philippines, the little patriotism left in me still yearns that we can all learn the value of loving this country. But God knows that I hate each and every kababayan who thinks this Joey-Kris issue is as important as, say, solving the government’s instability, poverty, and peace & order situation.

Tonight, before I sleep, I will take my time to pray to the Lord. I will make a wish. Lord, I pray that Joey and Kris will have LBM. Give them A MONTH of LBM. Make them feel the divine wrath. A sanction against hostility. Nobody gets hurt. Nobody goes to the press. The headlines will be clean of their presence. For they shall have a busy week scoring diatabs, and buying more toilet duck. They shall forget their annoying argumentative crap and just be focused on one thing: the bubbling sensation they feel in their digestive system. Lord, the country is poor, the government is crumbling. If Joey and Kris will be allowed to zombify the nation into some dumb hype, the grim future of the Philippines will have a swift certainty. So please. For the love of this land. May Kris and Joey have all but efot.